Updated: October 23, 2024
Bespoke Identity: Diane on Binding in Dresses & Nonbinary Identity
BESPOKE IDENTITY is a series of profiles examining the personal significance of suiting in the context of intersectional gender identity and/or presentation. The goal? To challenge the idea that the Queer experience is a monolith.
This profile highlights Diane Chen, a nonbinary actor based in NYC and a valued friend of The Tailory. Our conversation was fascinating, covering their use of fashion and binders to ease gender dysphoria, and the experience of playing a cisgender character as a nonbinary actor. But first, meet Diane:
IN A BIND
We started our call by discussing how Diane uses fashion to express themselves and reduce gender dysphoria, which nonbinary people can experience but don’t have to.
DIANE: “My chest is the center of 85% of my gender dysphoria and greatly influences how I feel about clothing. I often felt like I was forcing my body into clothes, hoping they’d help. In high school, I wore women’s suits for a mock trial, but that left me confused, as I didn’t realize it was about my chest and body shape. I’ve only been wearing a binder for 2-3 years, and it’s been game-changing.
With my 32-24 double Ds, binding brings both euphoria and dysphoria. I still get a uni-boob look, which reminds me that my body isn’t what I want. While I thought wearing men’s clothing would help, I wasn’t choosing the right shapes. Additionally, I really dislike clothes that accentuate an hourglass figure; it just feels wrong.”
As a masculine-presenting queer individual, Diane is taking traditionally masculine dress codes and repurposing them for their own self-expression. They are reshaping perceptions of men’s fashion by demonstrating that nonbinary and trans AFAB individuals can wear traditional menswear without it needing to be traditionally masculine to succeed. It can have soul AND convey power.
DIANE: “My goal is bisexual frat boy president with a heart of gold. Like, he is the guy who calls out his bros when they’re being misogynistic or gross. He does the reading, but he’s still a bro. Colors are like an accessory adorning a neutral black base. I constantly think about how I can use color to express myself. I’ve been into a lot of neons lately. They feel very genderless to me, even neon pink feels masculine to me for some reason, I don’t know why.”
Part of the reason these very bright colors feel genderless is because very few people even dare to wear them. Bright colors, symbolizing courage, were central to our Technicolor Subculture collection, worn by Diane at last year’s Queer Film Festival at the University of Oregon. These hues remain outside mainstream gendered fashion.Take a look:
DIANE: “I don’t think you understand quite how grateful I am for you pushing my style boundaries. I have a clear sense of my personal style, yet sometimes I still feel like that little kid who fears wearing something bold because of the risk of being ostracized. But your encouragement and positive feedback gave me the courage to rock the neon suit from Technicolor Subculture. If you were to ask me what is the one suit I love the most, it’s that winter floral suit that Danielle Cooper wore. I’m telling you, when I saw that on your Instagram, I f**king ascended. That is it! That print is my gender. I’ve always imagined that if I were to get married or attend a special event in a suit, it would be a dark emerald one with a subtle flourish.”
ACTING AND ACTIVISM
Diane also explained how they approach playing cis women characters and the importance of their activism as a public figure.
DIANE: “I did a play last year where I had to play a woman character who wears a dress, and the director suggested that I wear my binder under the dress. When I did it, I realized this was what I wanted to look like when I was being forced into dresses when I was younger. I thought the plunging V neck was the perfect mix of femme and masculine for some reason, but I couldn’t do that with my chest. I’m looking forward to wearing a dress in public with my binder on. Not to look more feminine, but to exist as myself in a traditionally gendered garment.”
This was particularly revelatory to hear. What initially felt like an act of conformity contradicting their essence has become a way for them to exist authentically in a traditionally gendered garment, allowing them to overcome the trauma of societal gender expectations.As for playing women characters?
DIANE: “I’m totally comfortable playing female characters. We start with pronoun introductions when we start rehearsals. I’ll say my pronouns are they/them and my character’s pronouns are she/her. I try to keep a very clear distinction in my head. Creating that divide allows for a mental separation between myself and the character. But I’m always surprised when I’m cast as a typically feminine character. It makes me think whether people perceive me as feminine despite the very masculine energy I think I exude.
I could have kept my intersectional identity private, but as an actor, I’ve had to be more open about who I am. Speaking on panels and at events about diversity and representation—something I hope I won’t need to do forever—has been rewarding. Receiving messages from people saying, “This is the first time something like this has resonated with me; I’m now going to embark on my own journey to understand these issues,” motivates me to share my journey and evolution.”
THE KIDS ARE ALRIGHT
Lastly, Diane also touched on the topic of gender roles and undoing societal gender norms through their use of language, particularly with children.
DIANE: “We live in a society that is hellbent on throwing you in one box or the other, and because physically I’m perceived as female, my pronouns 99.9% of the time are assumed to be she/her. I feel it out; I tend to very overtly and actively use gender-neutral language when I speak to people and hope that has a subconscious effect. The tricky thing is that most of the time I interact with children – I work as a nanny and I also teach baby swimming – which is an interesting place to be. When you’re working in a pool, you don’t really get to control how you present because you’re wearing a uniform of sorts. That’s the point of a uniform: to act as an equalizer and strip bodies of their individuality. What’s more, I can’t wear a binder in the pool. No binder on, hair tossed up on my head. It’s a weird space to be in because there are no visual cues to suggest nonbinary identity.
I’m presenting as a woman. It’s really frustrating and disheartening to see just how early we start to push the gender binary by gendering literally everything. You think it’s innocuous, but we’re actually building this really horrible foundation for gendering everything unnecessarily. Like, 3 yr old boys refusing to wear purple goggles. Or a dad will look embarrassed if his son chooses to wear pink goggles. In small ways, I can challenge that, but it’s systemic. Even nonbinary identity has to acknowledge the binary that we’re trying to reject, which is practically a Catch-22.”
Most of the time, parents’ enforcement of gender norms is well-intentioned, coming from a place of wanting to protect your child from a life of hardship. But if that’s who your child is, you’re actually doing them a disservice, creating a world of psychological trauma that will need to be undone later. It behooves you to raise them as their authentic selves. It’s not all bad, though; Diane points out that there are small glimmers of hope pointing to evolving understandings of gender.
DIANE: “Every once in a while, a boy will show up with painted fingernails. One time, I casually mentioned pronouns to one of my 11 yr old boys and he asked me what my pronouns were in return. I told him my pronouns are they/them and he was super receptive to that. That’s a sign that we’re moving in the right direction.”
